January 12, 2006
The New World
Collin Ferrell stands poised to strike boredom into the hearts of viewers in The New World.
Last night I had preview tickets to see the movie The New World. We were "treated" to an extended version, which has 16 extra minutes than the theatrical version to be released next Friday will. I was going to write a full review of this movie, but I already wasted 2 1/2 hours of my life on this show, and people at Rotten Tomatoes have already done it:
"Malick's exalted visuals and isolated metaphysical epiphanies are ill-supported by a muddled, lurching narrative, resulting in a sprawling, unfocused account of an epochal historical moment."
-- Todd McCarthy, VARIETY
"By the end of The New World all I had were flashbacks to Mystery Science Theater as I hissed at the screen, Tom Servo style, "End! End!""
-- Devin Faraci, CHUD
"If it were any more obtuse, The New World would be a flipbook where the moving picture was obscured by a thumb drawn over the stick figures."
-- Erik Childress, EFILMCRITIC.COM
Of course, some people like this movie too. Probably the same people who liked The Thin Red Line- another drawn out "epic" by the same writer/director. I place the crappyness of the movie squarely on him. Well, on him and the sound editor who kept cutting to silence and whoever wrote the musical score. Must have taken him weeks to come up with those 3 repetitive notes to play over & over!
Not the acting though, it really wasn't their fault. Maybe that's why nobody really walked out. Q'Orianka Kilcher was in the audience watching the movie with us. They got her up to talk about it before the show started. She had a really shiny sequeny shirt on, so we nicknamed her "Sparkles". She is actually more gorgeous in real life than on the screen, but she's only 15 so stop your brain right there.
At least you can still enter The New World contest if you're not part of my immediate family that is, which disqualifies you and you don't even get a cool movie to watch as a consolation prize. 
Posted by Guinevere at January 12, 2006 06:21 PM
Comments
I never saw the Thin Red Line so I don't know what to expect. I am sure I will see this when it comes out on video.
I suspected something was up with the movie when I read that they are re-editing it after it has been previewed. Hasn't it also been pushed back a few times? I seem to remember that it was originally supposed to come out last fall.
Your review of the musical score reminds me of Eyes Wide Shut, is it THAT bad? (Bing...Bing, Bing...BING!) 
What!?!? I wasn't thinking anything at all... 
No no no, it is nowhere NEAR as bad as the disaster that is Eyes Wide Shut.
I read that "Sparkles" designs her own clothes.
My cat's breath smells like cat food.
Hah, really? Well she does a nice job of making sparkly clothes.
My cat too.
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